Five seasons down, one more to go. We've now reached the season that, for a couple of years, I've declared the worst of My Little Pony. Let's see if that comment still rings true, shall we?
The Crystalling
Written by Josh Haber
If you've watched the sixth episode of The Emotions' Corner, To Glimmer or Not To Glimmer?, then you'll already know about how I feel towards her roles during season six. However, for this revisit (as well as revisits of every other episode she's in), I'm taking Starlight Glimmer's roles out of the equation, and instead, I'll be talking about the episodes on their own merits. One thing I'll say about Starlight's role here, however, is that it's funny that she doesn't know her way around Twilight's castle and yet in The Cutie Re-Mark, she knew where the throne room was no problem.
Anyway, the first outing of season six, The Crystalling, is a boring, poorly-paced slog.
The premiere is one of two stories; one focusing on Starlight and Sunburst, and the other focusing on the wayward yet adorable newborn known as Flurry Heart. I'll get the former out of the way first. Long and short, it's as disposable as Sunburst himself. You could remove it entirely and lose nothing.
Moving onto the Flurry Heart story, a.k.a. the main story, it's not much better than the other subplot. The main conflict is basically The Crystal Empire minus the Sombra invasion. Not to mention how something as natural as a snowstorm is barely even a threat. Sure, there's the dreadful thought of hypothermia, but seriously? Is that really the best they could do?
Also, I know I said I wasn't talking about Starlight's role in great detail, but considering that Twilight is her teacher, you'd think the latter would show a bit more responsibility in helping the former with her first friendship lesson. Yes, I know the birth of Flurry Heart and the accidental destruction of the Crystal Heart were a big deal, but still. (And no, lampshading it doesn't make it less of an issue.) Even then, like I mentioned, why did Twilight bother bringing Starlight to the Crystal Empire to begin with?
On top of that, following a list to make friends just feels like an insult to the target audience's intelligence. Given that Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, you'd think she'd have a bit more common sense, especially since it's a lesson she learned back in season one!
Overall, this is the worst series premiere because there's nothing to gain out of watching it. The story is blatantly unoriginal, the pacing is sluggish, and Sunburst on whole is absolutely worthless. If you want an episode that does Flurry Heart justice, there's A Flurry of Emotions from next season, so just watch that instead.
Anyway, the first outing of season six, The Crystalling, is a boring, poorly-paced slog.
The premiere is one of two stories; one focusing on Starlight and Sunburst, and the other focusing on the wayward yet adorable newborn known as Flurry Heart. I'll get the former out of the way first. Long and short, it's as disposable as Sunburst himself. You could remove it entirely and lose nothing.
Moving onto the Flurry Heart story, a.k.a. the main story, it's not much better than the other subplot. The main conflict is basically The Crystal Empire minus the Sombra invasion. Not to mention how something as natural as a snowstorm is barely even a threat. Sure, there's the dreadful thought of hypothermia, but seriously? Is that really the best they could do?
Also, I know I said I wasn't talking about Starlight's role in great detail, but considering that Twilight is her teacher, you'd think the latter would show a bit more responsibility in helping the former with her first friendship lesson. Yes, I know the birth of Flurry Heart and the accidental destruction of the Crystal Heart were a big deal, but still. (And no, lampshading it doesn't make it less of an issue.) Even then, like I mentioned, why did Twilight bother bringing Starlight to the Crystal Empire to begin with?
On top of that, following a list to make friends just feels like an insult to the target audience's intelligence. Given that Twilight is the Princess of Friendship, you'd think she'd have a bit more common sense, especially since it's a lesson she learned back in season one!
Overall, this is the worst series premiere because there's nothing to gain out of watching it. The story is blatantly unoriginal, the pacing is sluggish, and Sunburst on whole is absolutely worthless. If you want an episode that does Flurry Heart justice, there's A Flurry of Emotions from next season, so just watch that instead.
Rating: Terrible (0/10)
The Gift of the Maud Pie
Story by Michael P. Fox, Wil Fox and Josh Haber
Written by Michael P. Fox and Wil Fox
Written by Michael P. Fox and Wil Fox
This is pretty much an MLP-styled retelling of The Gift of the Magi (as if the title didn't already give it away), but is it really necessary to copy plotlines from traditional Christmas stories when the writers have no ideas?
That's a bit harsh, in fairness, because this is a sweet episode and portrays Pinkie and Maud's sisterly relationship in a more down to earth light. The heart's in the right place, especially with Pinkie willing to do anything to get something - anything - for Maud. Especially with that rock pouch. That being said, in the first act at least, the gag with Pinkie's cannon gets repetitive fast, and Pinkie having to reluctantly give it away for the rock pouch must've been really hard for her.
It's also not very common for Pinkie and Rarity to get a starring role together. The latter's role here served as a nice little build up to The Saddle Row Review, and seeing her interact with the Pie sisters and reacting to their interactions were funny. It's even nicer how the ending resolved Rarity's little subplot. But the episode based around that was... we'll get to that.
Admittedly, there's not much else to talk about here. However, I've kind of fallen out of love with Maud in recent years, mostly due to frequent exposure after her debut. I liked her role here, don't get me wrong, but if you're going to feature a popular character, then their role needs to make sense for the plot, not just shoehorned for the sake of pleasing older fans. Once in a while appearances are very special, but if you feature a character too often, then their appearances no longer feel special.
That's a bit harsh, in fairness, because this is a sweet episode and portrays Pinkie and Maud's sisterly relationship in a more down to earth light. The heart's in the right place, especially with Pinkie willing to do anything to get something - anything - for Maud. Especially with that rock pouch. That being said, in the first act at least, the gag with Pinkie's cannon gets repetitive fast, and Pinkie having to reluctantly give it away for the rock pouch must've been really hard for her.
It's also not very common for Pinkie and Rarity to get a starring role together. The latter's role here served as a nice little build up to The Saddle Row Review, and seeing her interact with the Pie sisters and reacting to their interactions were funny. It's even nicer how the ending resolved Rarity's little subplot. But the episode based around that was... we'll get to that.
Admittedly, there's not much else to talk about here. However, I've kind of fallen out of love with Maud in recent years, mostly due to frequent exposure after her debut. I liked her role here, don't get me wrong, but if you're going to feature a popular character, then their role needs to make sense for the plot, not just shoehorned for the sake of pleasing older fans. Once in a while appearances are very special, but if you feature a character too often, then their appearances no longer feel special.
Rating: Excellent (9/10)
On Your Marks
Story by Dave Polsky
Written by Josh Haber and Dave Polsky
Written by Josh Haber and Dave Polsky
When I first got into the show, Apple Bloom wasn't really a character I'd rank in my personal Top 10. I mean, she was nice enough, but that was pretty much it. And then this episode came around.
Even when I first watched it back when it first aired, I could relate to the situation Apple Bloom found herself in with trying to find something she liked doing. Heck, her solo song hit home for me. There are things I'm good at and things that, at best, I can do an okay job and could probably work better as part of a team. Finding something you'd like to do for a living on your own is never an easy task. And when you've achieved a goal you set yourself on doing... well, where do you go next?
I should probably get to the story. This is how I feel Crusaders of the Lost Mark should've gone; no rubbish with redeeming an outright bully for no reason other than to contrive an ending, no gluing two stories back to back. Just simple character growth and development.
As a matter of fact, the episode itself is very character driven. Seeing the Crusaders talking to the Cake twins was adorable, and them interacting with Bulk Biceps was hilarious. But the best dynamic of the lot was Apple Bloom helping Tender Taps embrace his true destiny (maybe that was also a nod to Michelle's dancing talent in real life?). Heck, the Crusaders trying out each others' favorite hobbies and promptly failing where one of them succeeds was funny.
Overall, there isn't much to say about an episode that just does everything right. And the moral about finding one's purpose in life was fantastic. It's too bad this episode doesn't enough recognition...
Even when I first watched it back when it first aired, I could relate to the situation Apple Bloom found herself in with trying to find something she liked doing. Heck, her solo song hit home for me. There are things I'm good at and things that, at best, I can do an okay job and could probably work better as part of a team. Finding something you'd like to do for a living on your own is never an easy task. And when you've achieved a goal you set yourself on doing... well, where do you go next?
I should probably get to the story. This is how I feel Crusaders of the Lost Mark should've gone; no rubbish with redeeming an outright bully for no reason other than to contrive an ending, no gluing two stories back to back. Just simple character growth and development.
As a matter of fact, the episode itself is very character driven. Seeing the Crusaders talking to the Cake twins was adorable, and them interacting with Bulk Biceps was hilarious. But the best dynamic of the lot was Apple Bloom helping Tender Taps embrace his true destiny (maybe that was also a nod to Michelle's dancing talent in real life?). Heck, the Crusaders trying out each others' favorite hobbies and promptly failing where one of them succeeds was funny.
Overall, there isn't much to say about an episode that just does everything right. And the moral about finding one's purpose in life was fantastic. It's too bad this episode doesn't enough recognition...
Rating: Excellent (10/10)
Gauntlet of Fire
Written by Joanna Lewis and Kristine Songco
Speaking of fan favorites...!
Long and short, this episode is everything Dragon Quest should've been. Proper world-building with the dragons, a view on the dragons that isn't black and white, and a moral that's not horribly botched.
One of the dragon traditions is that every eon (I think that's what it is), the current Dragon Lord must step down and whoever claims the bloodstone scepter will be his successor. That happens to be Ember, his daughter. She's a cool character, very much the antithesis of Garble by proving not all dragons are jerks for the sake of being jerks. She's even willing to work with Spike to win the Gauntlet of Fire and learned about helping others in need.
And then there's Garble; still the jerk he was in Dragon Quest, but all the humiliation he suffered trying to beat Spike and Ember was very much justified. And being forced by Spike to hug every dragon he comes across was just the cherry on top of the humiliation cake. Although how Spike, Rarity and Twilight knew his name despite it not being said once in his debut, I don't know.
That minor problem aside, it's Spike's greatest episode since Equestria Games, and the morals about size being insignificant and emotional strength being greater than physical strength were both very well done. It's easy to see why people love this episode; in fact, a number of my favorites from the show overall are by Joanna and Kristine.
Long and short, this episode is everything Dragon Quest should've been. Proper world-building with the dragons, a view on the dragons that isn't black and white, and a moral that's not horribly botched.
One of the dragon traditions is that every eon (I think that's what it is), the current Dragon Lord must step down and whoever claims the bloodstone scepter will be his successor. That happens to be Ember, his daughter. She's a cool character, very much the antithesis of Garble by proving not all dragons are jerks for the sake of being jerks. She's even willing to work with Spike to win the Gauntlet of Fire and learned about helping others in need.
And then there's Garble; still the jerk he was in Dragon Quest, but all the humiliation he suffered trying to beat Spike and Ember was very much justified. And being forced by Spike to hug every dragon he comes across was just the cherry on top of the humiliation cake. Although how Spike, Rarity and Twilight knew his name despite it not being said once in his debut, I don't know.
That minor problem aside, it's Spike's greatest episode since Equestria Games, and the morals about size being insignificant and emotional strength being greater than physical strength were both very well done. It's easy to see why people love this episode; in fact, a number of my favorites from the show overall are by Joanna and Kristine.
Rating: Excellent (10/10)
No Second Prances
Written by Nick Confalone
This is another episode I've had a personal hatred for ever since it aired. But I was never really satisfied with the original review because I didn't delve into the full details about the problems I had.
Let's start off with the contrivances in the story; first of which being Trixie's behavior. After Magic Duel, her last appearance, you'd think she'd become a more humble pony, right? Well, not here, because this episode completely backpedals her character to how it was in Boast Busters. Come to think of it, every appearance she makes afterward seems to ignore her character development from Magic Duel, so what was the point of said episode in the first place?
And then there's Twilight, who went through an entire character arc in the first five seasons that was completely ignored to allow this story to happen! And this is because she outright tries to keep Starlight from befriending Trixie! Yes, I know Twilight has had bad experiences with Trixie before, but no matter what you say, this is not the kind of behavior expected from Twilight, especially as it goes against her role as the Princess of Friendship.
Also, if we're expected to believe Twilight really is the Princess of Friendship, then why did she still hold a grudge against Trixie, something that she'd surely have gotten over by now, for taking over Ponyville under the influence of the Alicorn Amulet, and yet gave Starlight a chance despite almost causing a paradox? Either Twilight is paranoid, hypocritical asshole, or the writers like to selectively choose their own continuity (especially given how bloated the writing staff is for every season since the fourth). And frankly, neither option is off the table. In fact, this is probably the episode where Twilight's idiotic behavior stems from.
Then there's the pacing; it's some of the worst of the entire show. The first act is completely pointless - you could cut it out entirely and nothing would be lost - and the references to past actions are not only forced down your throat, they're a constant distraction from the story. Yes, we get that Starlight and Trixie have done things they're not proud of, can we please move on from that?
And now comes the ending where Trixie seems to attempt suicide. Nick Confalone said that wasn't the intention, but whatever it was, I'm sure it would not have been any better than what was shown (though, to be fair, no explanation's better than a bad one). Before this, Twilight confronts both Starlight and Trixie about it and even breaks up their friendship, potentially resulting in Trixie attempting to get herself eaten! And what does Twilight get for her behavior? Nothing! No punishment, no calling out, she's just left to her duties as if nothing happened. And no, saying sorry doesn't easily fix the problem, because by the nineteen-and-a-half-minute mark, it's too little too late. Is it just me, or did I almost want Starlight and Trixie to both punch Twilight for how stupid she was?
This episode is abhorrent, plain and simple. The moral about forgiveness is botched so horribly that it paints the lead character as an unlikable Karma Houdini, the implications surrounding the ending are horrifying, and the overall product just... sucks.
If there's anything this episode taught me, it's that Nick Confalone seems to have no clue as to how to write for a kids' show, completely screwing up the themes he had to work with. And considering that he also wrote Forgotten Friendship which introduced us to the sociopath known as Wallflower Blush, it's not out of the question. If these scripts were written for an adult series, I'd forgive it somewhat, but for children? No! Just... no!
Let's start off with the contrivances in the story; first of which being Trixie's behavior. After Magic Duel, her last appearance, you'd think she'd become a more humble pony, right? Well, not here, because this episode completely backpedals her character to how it was in Boast Busters. Come to think of it, every appearance she makes afterward seems to ignore her character development from Magic Duel, so what was the point of said episode in the first place?
And then there's Twilight, who went through an entire character arc in the first five seasons that was completely ignored to allow this story to happen! And this is because she outright tries to keep Starlight from befriending Trixie! Yes, I know Twilight has had bad experiences with Trixie before, but no matter what you say, this is not the kind of behavior expected from Twilight, especially as it goes against her role as the Princess of Friendship.
Also, if we're expected to believe Twilight really is the Princess of Friendship, then why did she still hold a grudge against Trixie, something that she'd surely have gotten over by now, for taking over Ponyville under the influence of the Alicorn Amulet, and yet gave Starlight a chance despite almost causing a paradox? Either Twilight is paranoid, hypocritical asshole, or the writers like to selectively choose their own continuity (especially given how bloated the writing staff is for every season since the fourth). And frankly, neither option is off the table. In fact, this is probably the episode where Twilight's idiotic behavior stems from.
Then there's the pacing; it's some of the worst of the entire show. The first act is completely pointless - you could cut it out entirely and nothing would be lost - and the references to past actions are not only forced down your throat, they're a constant distraction from the story. Yes, we get that Starlight and Trixie have done things they're not proud of, can we please move on from that?
And now comes the ending where Trixie seems to attempt suicide. Nick Confalone said that wasn't the intention, but whatever it was, I'm sure it would not have been any better than what was shown (though, to be fair, no explanation's better than a bad one). Before this, Twilight confronts both Starlight and Trixie about it and even breaks up their friendship, potentially resulting in Trixie attempting to get herself eaten! And what does Twilight get for her behavior? Nothing! No punishment, no calling out, she's just left to her duties as if nothing happened. And no, saying sorry doesn't easily fix the problem, because by the nineteen-and-a-half-minute mark, it's too little too late. Is it just me, or did I almost want Starlight and Trixie to both punch Twilight for how stupid she was?
This episode is abhorrent, plain and simple. The moral about forgiveness is botched so horribly that it paints the lead character as an unlikable Karma Houdini, the implications surrounding the ending are horrifying, and the overall product just... sucks.
If there's anything this episode taught me, it's that Nick Confalone seems to have no clue as to how to write for a kids' show, completely screwing up the themes he had to work with. And considering that he also wrote Forgotten Friendship which introduced us to the sociopath known as Wallflower Blush, it's not out of the question. If these scripts were written for an adult series, I'd forgive it somewhat, but for children? No! Just... no!
Rating: Atrocious (-10/10)
Newbie Dash
Story by Dave Polsky and Dave Rapp
Written by Dave Rapp
Written by Dave Rapp
Same situation, different episode. Except this time, they're teaching children about what it's like to be in the military. Now, there's a big problem with this; the minimum age (at least in the United States) for joining the military is around 17 or 18, depending on whether you have parental consent. My Little Pony is aimed at young girls, so how many are expected to have a relative who is/was in the military? And how many of those would even care for the show to begin with? Hell, how are kids even expected to relate to the episode's events?
Yeah, the subject matter for the episode is far too mature by the show's standards. But that isn't the only problem this episode faces. Essentially, this is the episode where Rainbow Dash officially joins the Wonderbolts, and they portray it in a completely appalling manner.
On her first day, Rainbow Dash makes a mistake and the rest of the Wonderbolts never let her forget about the incident and keep calling her "Rainbow Crash", a traumatizing name from her foalhood. And she never talks to Spitfire and/or Soarin - the two Wonderbolts she has a close friendship with - about this. Yes, I know that if she did, the plot wouldn't exist, but if that was literally all Dash had to do, then the story (and by extension, the torment she receives) is pointless.
Because of this, Rainbow Dash gets treated like dirt all because of that incident, and whilst you sympathize with her, you still have to wonder what she even sees in the Wonderbolts to begin with. Yes, it's been her lifelong dream, but what kind of message does this tell children? Keep working alongside your heroes when they keep treating you like crap and act like jerks? That is seriously messed up!
This episode is a terrible way to conclude Rainbow Dash's arc. It's mean-spirited to her for no reason except for being mean-spirited for the sake of being mean-spirited, the theme is, again, botched up so badly, and the overall allegory for the military just doesn't work for the series. Oh, and the Wonderbolts' turnaround at the end feels extremely forced and felt like it was done just to make Rainbow Dash feel special. There is nothing good about this episode at all.
Yeah, the subject matter for the episode is far too mature by the show's standards. But that isn't the only problem this episode faces. Essentially, this is the episode where Rainbow Dash officially joins the Wonderbolts, and they portray it in a completely appalling manner.
On her first day, Rainbow Dash makes a mistake and the rest of the Wonderbolts never let her forget about the incident and keep calling her "Rainbow Crash", a traumatizing name from her foalhood. And she never talks to Spitfire and/or Soarin - the two Wonderbolts she has a close friendship with - about this. Yes, I know that if she did, the plot wouldn't exist, but if that was literally all Dash had to do, then the story (and by extension, the torment she receives) is pointless.
Because of this, Rainbow Dash gets treated like dirt all because of that incident, and whilst you sympathize with her, you still have to wonder what she even sees in the Wonderbolts to begin with. Yes, it's been her lifelong dream, but what kind of message does this tell children? Keep working alongside your heroes when they keep treating you like crap and act like jerks? That is seriously messed up!
This episode is a terrible way to conclude Rainbow Dash's arc. It's mean-spirited to her for no reason except for being mean-spirited for the sake of being mean-spirited, the theme is, again, botched up so badly, and the overall allegory for the military just doesn't work for the series. Oh, and the Wonderbolts' turnaround at the end feels extremely forced and felt like it was done just to make Rainbow Dash feel special. There is nothing good about this episode at all.
Rating: Atrocious (-10/10)
I'm starting to wonder why Sunburst even is in this show at all, he's really nothing but a superfluous character who could be cut out and nothing would change, but yeah, I totally agree with stuff like with the Newbie Dash thing, if a certain character arc ends in a horrid way, there doesn't seem to be as relevant a reason to even begin watching the series (or later seasons), it will literally make one think, "What was the point of me even watching all those episodes, just for this?" Basically, it's like watching some bullies who don't care pull your middle finger to your face and say "it's just a prank, dude, it doesn't matter!"
ReplyDeleteIt's quite sad how a show that's supposed to be teaching about love and friendship and how friends are good has turned out to be one of the most mean-spirited nowadays, when you think about it...reminds me of this terrible anime called "Don't Leave Me Alone, Daisy", which had mean spirited abuse played for laughs, and a character like Starlight Glimmer, being abusive but "misunderstood" and both of them and the Wonderbolts were bullies who stayed that way as everyone just adapted to it instead of standing up.
Sunburst was essential to Starlight's story.
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