Where's where?

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Henry's Worst Moments

Well, the episodes of Whale of a Tale have been released, and they're quite good... except for one episode featuring a certain green engine with the number three. I'm just so angry at that episode that I have to review his worst moments in the Barlow Era, and explain why his new persona should've stayed in that era.

THE OPINIONS, THOUGHTS AND MUSINGS IN THIS BLOG POST ARE SOLELY THOSE OF ZACK WANZER, AS WELL AS THOSE FEATURED, NOT THE THOMAS FANDOM IN GENERAL

Of the Steam Team, Henry has consistently been given the short end of the stick in terms of character derailment. Edward had suffered in Edward Strikes Out, as did Thomas in one episode too many, whilst others like Gordon and James suffered from flanderization. Toby has suffered similarly to Henry, but I get to those soon enough. Percy and Emily are a topic for another day. But now, I'm starting with the episode which, I believe, was the start of Henry's downward spiral. In 2005.

Season 9, Episode 16
Henry and the Flagpole
Written by Paul Larson
A banquet is being prepared at the Scottish Castle. Henry likes going there as he can pass his favorite tree - the tallest pine tree in the forest. Surely there are trees taller than that? Or is it the tallest he can see? The Fat Controller sends Henry to pick up a new flagpole for the castle at Brendam docks, but Henry can't find the flagpole. However, he bumps into a flatbed, the flagpole rolls off, and Salty runs over it. Really, Henry? You couldn't see that it was on the flatbed before you bumped into it? And why were Henry and Salty not scolded for causing this mess?

Soon, Henry meets up with Toby, and apparently, the tram engine doesn't know that the tallest pine tree Henry can see could be used for the flagpole. Wow, both Henry AND Toby are idiots in this episode; a double whammy! The next day, Henry is to take workmen to the forest, but instead, he goes all around the island to look for a new flagpole. He sees flags being held by children, a flagpole holding up a windsock, and a flagpole near the beach. Yep, it's a three striker, very much like the three tall things Henry saw before he (and Salty) destroyed that flagpole. Annoyed with Henry's incompetence, the Fat Controller sends Henry to collect coal while Edward takes workmen to the forest.

The next day, Thomas (shoehorned like he usually is) meets with Henry and tells him that the thing you want is somewhere you wouldn't think to look. This part of the episode is boring and pointless. So, Henry looks everywhere, and even meets with Trevor, who will very much disappear into the background for future episodes. At Brendam docks, holidaymakers take pictures of an old ship with a very tall mast, giving Henry the idea to use it as a flagpole. At the forest, it turns out the tall pine tree isn't going to be cut down; the workmen need firewood for the bonfire. The banquet is successful.

Honestly, Henry wasn't the right choice of main character for this episode; if they gave it to Donald and Douglas - considering a deleted scene in Edward the Great - it would've been fine. But no. They had to give it to Henry instead as he needed an episode. Of course, he does try to save the tall pine tree from being cut down, and it's a similar case to the next episode below...

Season 12, Episode 5
Henry Gets it Wrong
Written by Abi Grant
Yeah, this episode is pretty much a blatant rip-off to Henry and the Flagpole above, and it feels like they wanted to fix the season nine episode, like how Pet Sitter Pat tried to "fix" A Pal for Gary, but it made things worse.

So it's said the wishing tree is the oldest tree on Sodor... yeah, sure. As if there aren't any other trees that are older than the wishing tree, which doesn't grant wishes, for the record. One day, after a summer storm, the wishing tree has been struck by lightning, and Henry is to take some special woodsmen from Brendam docks to the wishing tree. Henry takes the track passing the wishing tree and Edward tells him that special woodsmen sometimes have to cut trees down - surely Henry knew this by now, especially in Henry's Forest, which said you can't mend trees that have been felled? Remember this.

Later, Henry comes across Toby (with a snapped piston rod) and some oil tankers, and so he offers to take them for Toby. Why? Not to deliver them, but to block the tracks to the forest. Why would he do that when engines could simply shunt them away? Couldn't he have bumped them so hard they'd derail? Yeah, it'd be stupid still, but at least it would make some level of sense. He also takes Thomas' quarry trucks, Percy's milk trucks, and Emily's coal trucks, and blocks every track. Each segment was as long as one another, and it's tedious to watch and listen to after a while. Also, why did no one object to giving their trucks to Henry?

Soon, Henry has every track blocked, but he's taken so long that Salty has to take the special woodsmen instead. However, every track is blocked because of trucks in the way on the rails and not derailed. Did Henry think any of this through?! A CGI'd Harold tells Henry that the woodsmen can't get through to the wishing tree, surely they would've walked? I mean, it's not going to kill anyone to walk the remaining distance! So Henry clears all tracks and brings the trucks to their proper destinations and the woodsmen are able to save the wishing tree.

...except you can't, because if a tree has been felled or partially felled, then you can't save it. You have to cut it down instead. That's where Henry's Forest got it right and this episode got it wrong. Henry Gets it Wrong is a terrible rip off to Henry and the Flagpole, and the CGI doesn't save it from being bad. By the way, Henry's faces are creepy to look at. However, it gets worse for him...

Season 13, Episode 18
Henry's Good Deeds
Written by Alan Hescott
Let's start with the title; it's absolutely misleading. In no way was Henry doing good deeds for anybody. Even with the title fixed, it's still incredibly stupid. In fact, I'm surprised the episode doesn't make a lot of people's "worst of" lists. Still, let's talk about Henry's Good Deeds.

A new bird has been discovered on Sodor, creatively named the Sodor warbler. The Fat Controller sends for Henry to deliver a nesting pole to Bluff's Cove (which is on Thomas' branchline) and apparently Percy doesn't know what a nesting pole is. Yep, let's make him an idiot for the brief moment he's here, which was utterly pointless. Soon, Henry picks up the nesting pole and a coach and then he sees Thomas stopped on the mainline; he's letting Farmer McColl cross with his sheep. By the way, letting animals cross isn't a good deed - it's instinct we should take seriously as they are frightened of us as we are frightened of them. If we stop before animals, we're being sensitive to their surroundings and are saving their lives.

Influenced by Thomas'... *sigh* "good deed"... Henry sees Farmer Trotter's pigs at the side of the tracks, and then the muddy field on the other side, and then gets a not so brilliant idea by staying where he is so the pigs could cross without fear. By coincidence, they do, but Farmer Trotter isn't pleased as he was taking them to the county fair. But Henry gets another stupid idea by reversing, scaring the pigs and knocking over crates of apples. Fat lot of good that did, you big green dumbarse.

Thomas shows up again... somehow... but can't get across to the fenland fields, so Henry offers to take the visitors instead, and why was he going the opposite direction Thomas was going? Oh yeah, he has a nesting pole to take. I understand. Also, how did they all fit in one coach when it was said Annie and Clarabel - two coaches - were full? And why only five? Anyway, Henry, feeling pleased, blows his whistle which scares the Sodor warbler - yeah, that was a really good deed, idiot! Can you do anything other than screwing up your jobs?! Well, he's left the visitors behind. Big green git.

Lamenting his failed attempts at good deeds, Henry carries on to Bluff's Cove, and at the junction, the Sodor warbler lands on his buffer. By the way, why did it not fly away when Henry set off? It was scared by his whistle earlier in the day! At Bluff's Cove, everyone praises Henry for bringing the Sodor warbler to him. Really? Bringing birdwatchers a bird is a good deed? Wow, this episode really is stupider than I thought... Seriously, give the episode a new title, maybe something like Henry and the Bird, and it might've made some resemblance of sense, but no...

Two more episodes, and I want to give Henry a piece of my mind...

Season 14, Episode 20
Henry's Magic Box
Written by Sharon Miller
This episode was requested by Omeed Mirhakkak. I was going to save this (and the next episode) for December, but I feel I have to review this as soon as I had the chance, cause Henry's Magic Box is one of many disasterpieces in the Nitrogen era. There are so many reviews as to why this episode sucks that I don't think I have much to say here.

Three-strikes being utilized? Check.

Henry being an idiot? Check.

Pointless roles from characters without affect on the story? Check.

Pointless filler for most of the nine minutes where Henry worries and later on tells the rest of the Steam Team to come to Farmer McColl's by tea time? Check.

Yep, it's a typical Nitrogen episode, but what makes it worse? It had aired when Hit was still using the term Winter Holiday to be more politically correct, and we all know how that turned out... The plot of Henry worrying over a box - an inanimate object with no anthropomorphic features at all - is simply... well, it's stupid! That is like worrying over your television set at home while you're at work! When I leave for school, I never worry that any of my stuff will come to harm, maybe except for the chance that I may have left something behind, but I digress.

Another issue with the episode is that it feels like A Pal for Gary. How? Well, there's no scary creature that could give kids nightmares, granted, but Henry should not worry over a box, just like how SpongeBob shouldn't be worrying about Gary's safety while he's at the Krusty Krab! Maybe in season one, but that's another issue. And also, how did those trees fit in a single box? Are they secretly placing trees to mess with Henry?

I bet you'll want me to bring this up, and so I shall, the ending scene which has got to be one of the most infuriating endings in the entire series:

Narrator: The Fat Controller stepped through the trees. He looked just like Father Christmas.
The Fat Controller: Ho! Ho! Ho! Happy Winter Holidays to all my really useful engines!

Parent activists, is THIS the kind of tripe you want children to watch?! Trying to cover up Christmas despite that it's clearly visible on screen regardless if they're Christians or not?! And you can't use both terms Christmas and Winter Holiday at the same time, it just leads to confusion! Okay, they fixed it in season 17, but still! The Rev. W. Awdry was Anglican, and to get rid of the Anglican themes on Sodor is like getting rid of the underwater setting of SpongeBob - it does not work!

Henry's Magic Box has got to be the worst episode on the list, but I'm only reviewing the episodes based on airdate order. If I ranked them based on how much I hated them, this would be #1.

Season 16, Episode 5
Ho Ho Snowman
Written by Sharon Miller
Oh joy, we have an episode with Henry thinks a snowman can talk. We're going to have a fun time here(!)

Thomas and Charlie are shunting trucks... near Gordon's hill? Never start an episode with shunting on the mainline; that can cause trouble? Oh, and did anyone notice the story actually began ten seconds in? Usually, episodes start within twenty seconds, and to start an episode in half the time blows my mind, but it goes downhill (no pun intended) very quickly from there. And again, Thomas DOES NOT like snow; he hates it! And wearing his snowplough, but that's another matter. Oh, and stupid Charlie joke with an obvious punchline. Henry puffs by feeling miserable (then again, when isn't he miserable?) and tells Charlie he doesn't like snow, and is it me, or did he indirectly reference The Flying Kipper about toppling off the tracks in snowy weather?

So Charlie decides to cheer Henry up by convincing him that snow is fun, and so he hides behind a snowman and some trucks filled with snow, because... snow. Henry is startled when someone talks to him, and is surprised when the snowman tells him a stupid joke (really, it's Charlie), and Henry races off. Surely he could've seen it was Charlie?! Is Henry blind? Oh wait, but if he was, he wouldn't have been able to see the snowman. Charlie pretends to be the snowman twice more, and again, Henry is scared by the talking snowman and Charlie chases after him with the points set against him. Yep, a rare blip by Nitrogen.

Henry is at Tidmouth sheds, and Charlie puffs in to admit that he was the snowman, and apologizes for his joke failing on him. Emily and Edward then tell him (rightly so) the negatives of snow, and Charlie offers to help Henry, who accepts. Nice touch with the driver opening the shed doors, by the way. Also, why isn't Thomas fitted with a snowplough? Henry and Charlie make coal deliveries to Brendam docks safely and on time, and then they pass a tree with bright colored lights... It's obviously a CHRISTMAS tree! I know it had nothing to do with anything, but you can't get little details wrong, even if they don't affect the story! Then they return to the snowman and insert obvious joke to end the episode.

So, am I angry with Charlie in the episode? The answer is no; this is basically the young kid or someone who's a kid at heart trying to cheer up someone who's an old grump (Henry clearly wasn't) and get them to see the bright side. I believe Charlie's intentions, but the bad writing just ruined it. No, I'm more angry with Henry for being stupid for thinking a snowman could talk. I can say the same thing for Thomas and Edward for bowing to peer pressure so easily in Play Time and Charlie and Eddie as well, but I get to those soon enough. Ho Ho Snowman, on whole, was pretty ho ho horrible.

Final Thoughts
All five episodes demonstrate what happens when you focus on one aspect of a character's personality; with Henry, they focused on the fact that he was a poorly steamer before his crash, and they took the worrisome part of his persona and made it worse, just like how Patrick Star's stupidity became more obvious and unfunny in later seasons. For a story to be successful, you need to have the leading character well written, understood, and likable. None of those criteria were met with Henry in those episodes, and what made it worse was that it carried over onto the Thomas Renaissance, in Flatbeds of Fear, The Adventure Begins, and especially in Henry Spots Trouble (I'll review that episode when it airs in the UK).

Everything about Henry's portrayal makes me angry, and it feels as if the writers hate the poor guy! (Awdry might've as well, but that's another matter.) Why can't they take a page from Christopher's book (pun intended) and revert Henry to his grumpy old man persona? That's a far more relatable character that people can relate to in their lives! But instead, they kept treating Henry like a wuss, and this portrayal has made him one of my most disliked characters on the show.

Now, I don't hate Henry - he is a good character as long as he's in the correct writing hand - but I can't fully appreciate his TV series appearances if the writers don't give him the respect he deserves. If they can give Edward the dignity he deserves, why not Henry? If they aren't going to give him a starring role, they should at least try to get his character right! If you like Henry, stick to the books as well as the first five seasons. But now, Henry's charm has practically died, and Andrew Brenner is going to have a lot of work to do in order to revive it.

Episode Ratings:
Henry and the Flagpole: 2.5 out of 10
Henry Gets it Wrong: 1 out of 10
Henry's Good Deeds: 1 out of 10
Henry's Magic Box: 0.5 out of 10
Ho Ho Snowman: 1 out of 10

Thomas and Friends Season 9 Scorecard
2. Thomas and the Rainbow: 1.5
7. Respect for Gordon: 8
10. Rheneas and the Dinosaur: 1
16. Henry and the Flagpole: 2.5
22. Skarloey the Brave: 1
24. Thomas and the Golden Eagle: 1

Thomas and Friends Season 12 Scorecard
5. Henry Gets it Wrong: 1
9. The Party Surprise: 3
10. Saved You!: 3.5
13. Tram Trouble: 5
14. Don't Go Back: 1
16. The Man in the Hills: 1.5
19. Push Me, Pull You: 0.5
20. Best Friends: 10

Thomas and Friends Season 13 Scorecard
2. The Lion of Sodor: 1.5
3. Tickled Pink: 9
5. Slippy Sodor: 1.5
9. Time for a Story: 1
12. A Blooming Mess: 7.5
13. Thomas and the Runaway Kite: 0.5
15. Splish, Splash, Splosh!: 0.5
18. Henry's Good Deeds: 1
19. Buzzy Bees: 0

Thomas and Friends Season 14 Scorecard
1. Thomas' Tall Friend: 1
7. Diesel's Special Delivery: 1
8. Pop Goes Thomas: 0.5
11. Being Percy: 8
12. Merry Winter Wish: 1.5
13. Thomas and the Snowman Party: 0
16. Thomas and Scruff: 0.5
17. O the Indignity: 3
20. Henry's Magic Box: 0.5

Thomas and Friends Season 16 Scorecard
2. Ol' Wheezy Wobbles: 1.5
5. Ho Ho Snowman: 1
8. Thomas Toots the Crows: 1
10. Percy and the Calliope: 8.5
11. Thomas and the Sounds of Sodor: 1.5
13. Sodor Surprise Day: -10
18. Don't Bother Victor!: 2
20. The Christmas Tree Express: 0.5

No comments:

Post a Comment